what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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