what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
