You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
