i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
