so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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