the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Someone signed my nipple.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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