why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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