if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
