I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
