All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
