I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
