Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
