zippers are such a cool invention
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
