That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
