The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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