I wish my penis had an off switch
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
