I think im going to throw up on grandma
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
