what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
