I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
