I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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