We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
