i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
