Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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