AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
