pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
