I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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