I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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