used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
