I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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