So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
