God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
