After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
