So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Randomize
