is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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