just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
