So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
