I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my being single is dangerous.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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