dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
