maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
