you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
