I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
