I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
