is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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