I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
