Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
