Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
