Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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