Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
