i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
