He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
