So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
