Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
