Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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