I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
