i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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